more than a hundred

This blog has been closed to public readership since late 2021/early 2022. During the two years since then, I continued to write my way through a series of events and circumstances that were nothing short of completely devastating, on many levels and for many reasons. Those posts were, more than anything, an accurate record of the intense suffering that I was experiencing, and it makes for torrid reading. 

I do not consider those posts to comprise a narrative that deserves suppression, however I am mindful of how distressing much of it is and I have no desire to further the negative consequences of what was already a devastating period in my life. Therefore I have chosen to preserve that content elsewhere, away from this public space. What you are reading now is a blog which has had more than a hundred posts removed. A hundred posts is not an insubstantial amount of writing, and I include this figure here to convey something of the scale of my experience and the extent of its impact on me personally. 

However, much content is retained. Be warned that not all of it is easy reading. Some of it includes detail about the abuse I experienced as a child, which came pouring out in the months after my mother died. Not all of it flatters persons who may recognise themselves in aspects of my critique. But I spent several long years at the mercy of circumstances involving significant failings and the indifference of many people. I wore the real consequences of that. Therefore I have erred on the side of including material that still holds some of the sting I was feeling. It is but a drop of the howling ocean of words that I originally wrote. Readers will note that I could not and would not reopen this blog until I had moved on to a better, more balanced space within myself. 

That day has now come. I am satisfied with the content choices I have made. If you know me, and any of this material bothers you, please reach out to me. There is nothing here we can't heal between us.