Nineteen years

Happy Anniversary ~ to the love of my life.
xxx

The perfect quote?

Don’t you hate that?

Sometime in the last three days, I read the perfect quote.  It summed up a concept that I have since given a lot of mental air time.  I have visited the idea at least once in conversation of the deep and meaningful kind, in my own imperfect and fumbling words.  The quote expressed with rare precision and delicacy the sort of paradox that only the most universal and enduring life truths hinge upon.  It was the type of perfect quote that you read to anyone who will let you, share on Facebook, and enjoy the bubbling forth of creative reply.

But I’ve forgotten where it was.

I have retraced my virtual steps, and even gone so far as to walk around my house and gaze about each room, in case the source pages should leap into focus in my refreshed memory.  But to no avail. 

I try to remember.  I recall the moment of deep, dizzy recognition, a sudden intake of breath, the feel of the smile spreading across my face, and I read it again, this time the swirling words absorbed more slowly. A pause as the crystalline weight of the idea spreads inside my mind.  And then, a distraction, the sudden need to tear myself away from the passage, and a choice to put it down. 

Somewhere in the intervening busy-ness, it has slipped away from me, like a cunning teacher, or a secretive sage.

But I still feel the energy of the message.  I feel it in my solar plexus, as if the words are still connected to my body.  Perhaps the quote has escaped me deliberately, so I must try harder to connect the dots, learn the lesson, know the truth of it in my own way.  Or maybe the wisdom has not left me at all, but has burrowed deeper into my consciousness, in order to expand and find new expression in me, in my words - in my own perfect quote.

Soul Purpose

What is your soul purpose?

I had a very interesting conversation with my Wise Old Sister (WOS) a while ago.  Having just spent the weekend at a core shamanism workshop, I found myself again in the place of questioning my intent, my purpose, and my sense of meaning.  What am I doing here on the planet?  What is the higher purpose of my life?

The concept of being a shamanic practitioner who may be called to share these skills with the community is a tricky one within our contemporary cultural setting.  We are weirdly hung up on having “qualifications”, when the raw truth is there is no regulatory authority on the planet who can issue a certificate when it comes to a tradition which is handed down experientially from teacher to student over period of time.  This occurs as the student becomes ready and the circumstances for learning unfold in the student’s life (prompted no doubt by Spirit).  It is the ultimate ‘learn-by-doing’ modality.

My WOS very patiently listened to me telling her that I’m not really any of the things that I used to think I was (insert whiney voice) and I don’t even know what my life purpose is anymore, and then she said:

Your soul purpose isn’t confined to an activity, or a profession, or any single calling.  It is instead the energetic vibration that you incarnate into this life with, and the number of ways that it can be expressed in is infinite.  Ok, it’s possibly limited a little based on your personality, inherent talents, and desires…but is theoretically infinite in its expression.  So a “healer” isn’t necessarily so just by virtue of hanging out the shingle, or training as a doctor or naturopath, or seeing reiki clients…the essence of “healer” will inform all their encounters.  It’s purely our egos that want to know “what is my life’s purpose?”  Our souls/spirits just get on with expressing their particular gift – hopefully with some degree of mindfulness – very simply through every act of authenticity.  Whether it be by creating something, expressing something, witnessing something, sharing something, healing something, it doesn’t matter.  

(See, I told you she is Wise).

Part of having a radical life revision (in the form of a potentially fatal disease) involves questioning everything – every construct or belief that got me this far in life – and assessing its truth and ongoing relevance.  In the past I have believed myself to be a writer, a healer, a dancer – and even though I was engaged quite heavily in those activities at the time, I now feel closer to these goals not by being “xyx label” – but rather by doing.  By walking it, not talking it.  Sure, some labels might be handy for understanding my motivation, setting goals, enunciating my intent – but really, just walking the path, really allowing myself to drop into it and be open to the unlimited possibilities is much more valuable than any title I could possibly claim or invent.  I suspect the next stage of my maturation involves dropping out of the old egoic spirituality and into just being what I am instead.  Gloriously and with utter humility.  I’m starting to catch a glimpse of Something which is far bigger, wordless in its entirety, and integrated into Everything. 

Wayne Dyer has something very pertinent to say (as usual):

Your thoughts about who you are, what excites you, and what you feel called to be and do are all Divinely inspired and come with whatever guidance and assistance you’ll need to actualize these goals.

∞