I dreamed

I dreamed
that
I cried

hunger (reprise)

it is

a thread of words

a pain-spun line

a silk-sharp path

but precious, 

mine 

Freedom

It is our mind, and that alone, that chains us or sets us free.

~ Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche

full stop

You should have

believed me

when I told you

I am a shaman.

You should have

believed me

when I said

I take that

responsibility

very seriously.

You should have

believed me,

full stop.

True confession

True confession: in the past, I have worked as a psychic reader.

Whatever your beliefs about this, and for whatever the reason, I am able to access information about people, which, when they hear, they find useful, enlightening, and uncannily accurate.

This is a skill I developed over many years of serious application. It is not a parlour game. It is an important element of my spiritual practice, and something I entered into originally as part of my own search for truth, and continued when I discovered it helped other people.

It started after the death of my grandmother, when I saw a psychic who gave me my own uncannily accurate reading, full of specific and unique details that couldn't possibly have been a series of guesses.

After that I sought out answers and was blessed with a series of teachers. One of them, a modern shaman, has taught me everything he knows about the structure of the human energetic anatomy, and how to interact with it in order to trigger inate healing processes, beyond what we know about western physical medicine. Another was a psychic, who taught me how to consult a variety of divinatory mediums in order to access extrasensory information. This I always do with the intent for highest good. (That's important).

These days, when I do a reading, I usually draw upon a method taught by my shaman-teacher, and I read the energy of the person who I am reading. This provides the most salient information the most quickly, because we all carry 'our stuff' with us. It sits right there, begging to be seen, acknowledged and resolved. In this way, those readings are often a conduit of personal insight, acknowledge and healing.

But prior to that, I read tarot cards. Not usually by interpreting the standardised system of symbols, as most readers would do, but by looking at the pictures and talking about the bits that stand out to me. This too is quite accurate, presumably because I am able to access some kind of subconscious information in order to achieve insight. (This might be a weird by-product of having narcolepsy).

The tarot deck has been a source of fascination to many, containing as it does a series of rich symbols, that, combined, express the totality of human experience. The Major Arcana is a subset of the cards, being 22 cards that express the mythic journey of man from 0 Fool (the first card in the Rider-Waite) to completion in XXI The World (the twenty-second card in the Rider-Waite) and ultimately, a card of enlightned detachment (in the Buddhist sense).

However the real secret of the tarot is card 22. No card bears the actual number of XXII or 22, however, after XXI The World, there is a blank card. This card signifies the great mystery, the divine, the great unknown. It's a reminder that, even in our greatest knowledge and wisdom, we are nothing, and we know nothing. The Truth is known and unknown, and that is exactly as it should be. 

Free

I’ve been dancing freestyle for a long time, and the principle tenet of the style is this: no choreography.

This commitment to improvisation requires the dancer to interpret the

Ever more - - -

  fragments - - -

The Problem Is

the problem with

being a dreamer

is that you're

Always

asleep & awake

awake & asleep

at the same

Time

go on

'Begin at the beginning,' the King said, very gravely, 

'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'

~ Lewis Carroll 

this is the feeling

don't move

don't look

don't talk

be small

smaller

SMALLER

don't move

breathe

breathe quietly

there is nothing you can say

there is nothing you can do

it will only make it worse

don't move

Ripples

The truth of

the pool's reflection

is found only

by the pebble.

Not afraid – – –

I am not afraid – – –

I remember now

I remember now – 

I dreamed about the stars * * *  

Note to self

Ask for help when you need it.

Challenge your backstory.

Fill the page with your words, not theirs.

It's OK. Ask for help.

Keep asking until you get it.

Black

falling deeper

getting closer

 to the furthest part

of darkness

The edge of my heart just fades to

black.

White

this rictus seethes taut

locked within a skeleton

bleached with fury

NaCl

That which is unsaid

assumes a denser form and

leaks silently out

deepest secret

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart 

                                                                       ~ E.E. Cummings 

Shame is the deepest wound

Warning: Long. And likely to provoke discomfort.

Minties

When it's after 1 am and

the new week has started

before the old one has finished

From here to there

How?

How can I do this?

How will I get from here to there?

Tonight

sun lights up

the daytime

you

light up my life

the hand

that calls you forward

is the hand

that leaves me

behind

hold me

hold me

tonight

Inescapable

It's like

staring down a chute

with no real sense

of how steep

how dark or

how long

the drop

will

be

it's days like these

and it's times like these 

and it's days like these

it's been a long time coming

but i'm falling short

Låpsley