Quotalicious "Fierce"

You need to claim the events in your life to make yourself yours.  When you truly possess all you have been and done, which may take some time, you are fierce with reality. ~ Florida Scott-Maxwell

"Fierce with reality."  I like that.

Fallow

The reaching tendrils of winter have wound into every recess, chasing out the last of the autumn warmth.

In fact, the solstice, the darkest night of the year, is nearly upon us.  In years gone by I have called fabulous women to my home, and made merry with spiced wine and the ordinary magic of gathering.  This year, however, I’m still weary and I have not the energy for celebration.  I find myself contemplating instead the deep stillness of winter within the longer arc of my life.

I’ve finally taken myself along to a psychologist for some assistance with my cracked brain and scattered wits.  She is encouraging but realistic.  She tells me that a recent study indicated that 49% of cognitively disrupted folks had regained their normal function by the five year mark.  I’m sitting on the 20 month mark. During the second half of that time, I have seen a huge improvement (then, I was having trouble counting money at the shop and dialling telephone numbers) but even so I recognise I still have a way to go to restore my full cognitive wellbeing.

The reality that I’m confronting is that I’m not as capable as I have been in the past.  Not in terms of my skills or intelligence, but in terms of my capacity.  With multitasking stripped away, and fatigue nipping ever at my heels, I simply cannot achieve the same quantity of anything in any given day or week.  I must leave my ego at the back door, amongst the untidy tangle of house shoes, and deal with the practicality of doing what I can.  And surrendering the rest.

This time was preceded by years of frenetic activity when the bounty of my youth lay ripe around me, and was followed by a stark harvest that laid the bones of those years open to the frost.  And now I rest.  Bare.  Fallow.  Still.  Dreaming under the wide sky while the good rain soaks through and the mysterious signs of life work their oblivious transformation from within. 

Who knows what possibility lies dormant, gathering strength from the earth that cradles it, waiting for the returning warmth of the sun?

Quotalicious "treasure"

Well, mythology tells us that where you stumble, there your treasure is.... The world is a match for us and we're a match for the world. And where it seems most challenging lies the greatest invitation to find deeper and greater powers in ourselves.

~ Joseph Campbell

Yanging my yin

And isn't it pretty?

Since my last gloomy offering, I've been busy yanging my yin.

This has consisted of getting sunshine, fresh air and as much activity as I can withstand.  Which, sadly, amounts to not much.  But it is nonetheless movement, and essentially yang in nature, which is what is needed.

Part of the process has been getting on top of a situation that I have been in total denial over for some time and which had very nearly reached a state of complete disaster.  (Denial is a very yin place to be).  So a big dose of yang helped me to swallow a bitter pill, and then ask for the help that I've needed all along.

So, to celebrate this incremental shift in the right direction, and to keep inviting the right kind of energy in to my life, I've given Spirited! a makeover.

The beautiful background art, so alive with colour and light, is by Chiaralily over at Flickr.  The rest of it was me clicking and twiddling with the blogger template designer.  What do you think?  I'm not entirely happy with the title fonts, and I wonder how legible the pink and purple is.  But I love the colour and the feel of it, and I hope you do too.