explain

 

I want to explain something to you

I want to explain this is how it is
that the teasing of hope becomes
the feeding of despair

I want to explain how it is
that small kindnesses become
the tools for larger cruelties

I want to explain how it is
that I gather the last of my resolve
and I aim again for 
the better day 
the better day you told me about
the better day you explained to me
the better day you promised
that hasn't come

I want to explain how it is
that this exchange has a price
the transaction from hope
to payment of despair 
extracts a toll paid
in the currency of belief
and the ravening expense 
is 

trust

I want to explain how it is
that the payment becomes
inexorable and the price
too high and how it is
that I have explained this to you
again and again 
until these words
were all I had left