I require you to know this

At some point, I am going to need to reconcile the enormous lie that you have enacted upon me. Unless or until that happens, my sense of betrayal remains absolute. My feelings of loss and my anger at your reckless disregard of me, of my needs, of my fundamental rights, are a constant corrosive force in my life. This is what you have done, with your skillful, self-serving expediency, and I require you to know this. It must be very clear by now that I hold a set of expectations that have been engineered in service of your enormous lie, and your failure to deliver against core aspects of those expectations produces a constant, bitter fuel for my grievance. I want you to understand that this is a source of deep suffering to me, and also that it shapes my experience, but it does not define it. There are many types of pain, and this is pain that I live with, moment upon moment, day upon day, and it will not be eased until that which has been left carelessly unresolved is carefully resolved. I want you to know that this has become the reality of my life, and I am deeply unhappy with it, and in the midst of this agonising disempowerment I am still able to attain clarity about it and to articulate it even while it silences me in multiple ways. I have lost so much, and it seems like I lose even more with each day and week that passes. Will I die still waiting for every resolution promised?